• me: *walks up to a group of middle schoolers skateboarding*
  • me: lemme show you a trick or two
  • middle schoolers: *hand me a board*
  • me: this one's called stealing
  • me: *runs away with it*

puppetmasternaegi:

2xpistolsandawink:

nottheshepardyourelookingfor:

aktwerkthatbooty:

Jesus Christ.

THIS IS MY FAVORITE.

I just hurt myself laughing

Jesus, you JESUS.

OH MY GOD

BO BURNHAM

(via eemmy0)

COOL NEW HACK TO GET MORE ICING FOR YOUR TOASTER STRUDEL

toasterstrudel:

  1. Obtain a significant other from a country that doesn’t sell Toaster Strudel
  2. Marry them and start a family
  3. Offer to make your fam breakfast every morning
  4. Make them strudel with no icing
  5. They’ll have no idea Toaster Strudel even come with icing
  6. Take all six packets for yourself
  7. Avoid making eye contact with your reflection in the mirror for the rest of your life because you are a monster

(via multifandom-clusterfuck)

same

(via pagingme)

jaclcfrost:

18-19 are good ages because even though you’re technically an adult you’re also technically still a teenager too. you can still blend in and be like. greetings, fellow teens. what’s up. what’s shaking. what’s the word

(via thebakerson)

targaryen-wings:

hoodjab:

briancolfer:

2-sly4-u:

westdick:

people just don’t like Texas

Texans don’t like Texas man

we do have a wicked fahkin weird accent

WHY IS THIS ALL RELEVANT OMG. I LIVE HERE AND I CAN TELL YOU ALL THIS IS TRUE. ALL OF IT.

WHAT THE FUCK CALIFORNIA IS FUCKIN GREAT FUCK YALL

(via thebakerson)

  • police officer: you're under arrest for shooting someone in the chest
  • me: whoever made the rhyme did the crime(:
  • police officer: haha i have to give you credit for that one dude you're off the hook

adorability:

I love when you become so close with someone that you can see parts of each other in one another and you begin to say the same things and steal lines from one another and have a similar sense of humor and can exchange an inside joke with just a glance you don’t even have to talk because you have such a strong connection with them and you can sit in comfortable silence but also talk for hours it’s really hard to find that kind of compatibility

(via multifandom-clusterfuck)

Talking about Where Did You Sleep Last Night.

(via floyd--the--barber)

slayboybunny:

"sir what you did is literally 100 percent illegal"
"ok but get this: im a rich white person" 
"oh sorry about that sir" 

(via sandwichmakermaker)

deniablesmiles:

the-ballad-of-peter-pettigrew:

(Sirius Black at 2am in the Gryffindor dormitory)

That description.

(via hitmeintheovaries)


A quick and easy guide to tearing down anti-marriage equality arguments.
A quick and easy guide to tearing down anti-marriage equality arguments.

(via hitmeintheovaries)